Shut my mouth...

...slap your grandma. I need a big slap right now. Why am I so stupid??? I did Not do good yesterday and it was because I am stupid stupid stupid.
Goal for today: -Don't be Stupid!

I'm tryin to find a word to describe this girl.....

...without bein disrespectful...sexy chick! I'm working on it, but it's going slow. So, I have a question. How many grams of fat are you supposed to intake in a day? I thought mine was kind of high for yesterday, but I realized that I really have no clue. I ate really good yesterday, but I did have some cake...I know, I wasn't supposed to, but it looked so good!! Oh well. It's gone now, so I don't have to worry about it until the end of March. My dad works out every day for two hours and he has lost 30 lbs. so far. I have asked him to be my personal trainer. He is going to send me his 4-day workout routine that he does so that I can have a plan when I go to the gym instead of going and getting frustrated when I can't figure out what to do. I'm probably not going to workout for two hours, but atleast I will be busy while I am at the gym.
Goals for today: -Take Emily shopping with her b-day money
- read scriptures - keep track of my food -laundry(ugh)

My new toy!

First of all, Thank you Jenna! I just got it last night and I have been reading the instructions so I can start using it today. I got a new Calorie counter to help me keep track of what I eat and how much I am eating....these were the encouraging words from my husband when I opened it " It will work as long as you are honest" Thanks honey. It is easy to cheat though. Today is another high day. I worked with my trainer and he killed killed killed me! He comes up witht he craziest exercises and I love it! I only have two more sessions with him, so I am going to write down everything I do with him so I can keep going. I have decided that I (and my neighbor) are going to do a tap number on my spring recital and I need to lose weight before I get up infront of everyone and dance.
Today is my Emily's 4th birthday, so I am going to make this a shprt post. I am spending the morning with her. I am going to fix her hair cute, paint her nails, and maybe go buy her a new shirt. She is such a joy in my life and I love her very much!
Goal for today: No Cake. I don't deserve it. Maybe by Audrey's birthday I can splurg.

It's just another Manic Monday...

...whoa a whoa....I don't wish it was Sunday! Well, weigh in day and I am still at 173, which is okay. I'm just glad that I am done gaining. I was almost lazy this morning, but then I remembered how I feel when I don't go to the gym and I jumped out of bed! I did a great ab and interval cardio workout this morning. Came home to my protein shake (I ditched the milk in it and added water to save on carbs and calories) and just finished 40 minutes and 175 burned calories on my Wii Fit. I also read my scriptures already. It's going to be a great day! I still haven't found my food journal, but I am going to start today anyway. I will just have to find a different note book. I set my new goal on my Wii Fit and I want to lose 22 lbs. by my birthday. That gives me 3 months people! I can do it. I just need to be stricter on my diet and push harder on my exercise. I'm sad because I think I might give up my p.t. for a while. We really should be using that money elsewhere, so I am going to think about it. It's not worth the money to only be working with him once a week. I feel like I hardly see him, but I will miss my kiler sessions with him....we'll see.
Goals for today: -Eat more veggies -Start my food journal -do my dishes!

Protein Bars

Okay, so I decided to lay off the protein bars for a while...Big Mistake! Now all I've been eating for my mid-meal snacks are whole packages of Graham crackers! I'm pretty sure the protein bars are much healthier and less calories, so I think I will be switching back to the bars. I can't help myself when we have graham crackers(I eat two at a time and dip them in milk...Yum!) but if I have a bar to fall back on, I could make it through the day. Yesterday I did fantastic until the cracker. I hate making stupid mistakes that can ruin my whole day and all of my efforts!
Everyone can be proud of me, I made it to the gym this morning. I haven't been to the gym on a saturday in a while and I loved it. There was no one there, so I could actually use the weights that I wanted to. I am going to add saturdays more regularly. It helps when you go to bed at 9 on a friday night...I am so lame now! I have a lot to do today, so I will see you next weigh in day. Don't count on my losing anything and My goal for today is to stay away from the graham crackers!

Rollercoaster...

..of love. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster. Somedays I am so pumped to kick butt and get in shape and then I have days like this where I could care less (not totally true) but I feel a little lazy. I didn't get to the gym because I was lazy. 3 of our kids got up at 3 and 4 this morning and at 4 I really had the urge to just get up and go to the gym, but I was just too lazy to do it. Isn't that sad? Now I am filled with regret because by the time 5 came, I was already back to sleep. I should have gone! It's like I completely sabatoge any efforts or accomplishments I have made. What is wrong with me? I am supposed to go out to dinner tonight, but all I want to do is stay home and walk on my tredmill....I don't think my husband is going to let me do that.
Goal for the day: No more eating. I've done okay, but I know that I will make bad choices if I let myself eat again. Water for dinner and maybe an apple.

No Carbs, No carbs, no Carbs

I haven't been writing in my food journal for a couple of weeks, so I think I need to start doing that again and I am cutting down my carbs. I know I should still have some, but the past couple of days I have let myself go and I haven't been eating as good as I should. I am going to be putting forth more effort to eat better and exercise more. I have noticed that I can go days without having any fruit other than my 3 strawberries in my protein shake. I've been having a bigger and later lunch, so I actually haven't had dinner this week. I just wasn't hungry. Last night I had an apple before going to bed. I really want to do the Flat Belly diet, but we need to wait until after this payday. I was looking at the recipes and I forgot how many vegetables and different fruits you get to eat.
Goals for today: -keep my food journal -find my food journal - gym(check) -30 min. on the tredmill -teach dance

It's the end of the world as we know it...

..And I'm just fine. That's right. Test results in and I am 100% just fine. No insulin resistance to be found and now I am just plain out of ideas! I am happy in a small way. I would hate to find out I am on the verge of Diabetes, but it would have answered a lot of questions. So now what? I guess I just keep plugging along. I was thinking how nice it would be to work with my trainer 5 days a week, or even 2. I'm down to one and it's just not enough....I need to get some more students and maybe in Feb. I will be able to go back to 2 days. Anyone with a gun who is willing to shoot me, I'll send you my address.

Tuesday

I know today is not tuesday..That is when I should get my results from my blood test I did on Friday. It was SO not fun, but I'm glad I did it. I've been thinking about how I will feel if it comes back negative. I will probably cry because I am just at my wits end with this weight loss mess and I guess I will get over it and move on. I will probably not write until I get the results and I am definitely not getting on the scale because I know for a fact that I haven't lost anything. I'll be back in a couple of days.

Just so you know...

I didn't get tested yesterday because they didn't tell me it takes 3 hours and I didn't have the time...I am leaving in 15 minutes to get tested today. I will write more later and let you all know!

This could be, one of those memories..

On Monday I was having a bad day and I had Kyle give me a blessing. I was told that I if I would keep putting forth the effort, I would be blessed. Well, I have been thinking about getting tested for Insulin Resistance, but I didn't want to go back to the doctor that treated me for my depression. He really was a jerk and even answered his cell phone in the middle of my appointment! I was coming home from the gym this morning and I heard an ad on the radio for a local Urgent Care that is doing Insulin Resistance testing! It was like an answer to my prayers. I just want to find out what is going on with my body so I can get better. I am going to go and get tested today, so I will report back when I know more.
*Side note, the gym was amazing this morning! I was sweating like a pig and now I need to take a shower! I love days like this!
Goals for the day: -go get tested -laundry -practice my Wii tennis, Kyle keeps kicking my trash! -scriptures(check!) -gym(check)! :I have to put things on my list that I have already done so that I can feel like I have accomplished something!

lookin for love in all the wrong places..

..lookin for love in too many faces.. That's the song that is stuck in my head this morning for some reason. Last night we had a Family Home Evening on eating good foods. I cooked some chicken, pasta, green beans and corn. Then I cut up apples, oranges, bananas, cucumber and carrots and placed all of them on the table. I also got out our butter, margarine, olive oil and spray "I can't believe it's not butter" and we talked about good fats vs. bad fats and how our body does need fat, but not a lot of it. We talked about our car and how it needs the right kind of fuel for it to work right and how if we put the wrong fuel in it, the engine would break and our van wouldn't be able to work. I then turned the van into our bodies and when we give our bodies the right "fuel" we can run and play and our skin and hair are healthier and our bodies will be able to work good. BUT, if we put the bad kind of fuel in our bodies, they might seem like they are working okay for a little bit, but pretty soon our "parts" will shut down and stop working so we couldn't run and play or our "engine"(our heart) could stop and then we would die. Then we let the kids eat all of the good foods on the table and we had them tell one thing that they loved about their bodies. I even did it too! I love my hair and my freckles...I know, I need to work on loving my own body more. I am just proud that I accomplished every single goal I set for yesterday!
Goals for today: _read scriptures -finish folding laundry and put it away -clean up the studio -teach dance today -cook my turkey for dinner -gym(check!)

Here I go again on my own...

...travel'n down the only road I've ever known! Seriously, that is how I feel today! I went to the gym and it was so crazy busy and I was just not motivated. I did 20 minutes on the tredmill and 15 on a bike (which was awesome) but I didn't lift any weights because it was so crowded! I ended up just going home. I miss doing step aerobics, or regular aerobics and tae bo. I always feel like I get a good workout when I do those things and the gym I go to just downsized and now doesn't offer any classes. Plus, now my husband wants to go play basketball in the mornings on Wed and Fri, which is great. Really, I want him to go. I might take this opportunity and use those two days to stay home and do some step aerobics or my favorite Tae Bo video. I need to switch it up so I don't get bored. I'm feeling a little bored with the gym.
My second change is that I am adding Saturdays to my workout days. It's the one day a week I wouldn't have to go in at 5, so why not? I went last saturday and it felt great and the gym wasn't crowded at all!
Goals for the day: -Get off the computer right now -go grocery shopping -read my scriptures -take a shower!

Oh boy

Well, I did it already..I gained back my 4 lbs. I just don't get it.

HCG diet

I am so sick and tired of hearing about the HCG diet! For those of you who don't know about it, it is this diet where you only eat 500 calories and then you can either do injections or drops of this hormone called HCG that supposedly makes your body attack the fat instead of the muscle while you are starving yourself...the only problem with this is that you can't exercise while you are on the diet. So, I have a friend who started it in October and she has already lost 40 lbs! It's disgusting and I looked into doing it, but I just don't feel good about it. I want to build muscle and be able to run and not be weary! I want to exercise! I want to eat more than 500 calories a day! I know the minute she stops the diet it's all going to come back, but it's so hard to see her get those fast results while I am still plugging along with almost no results! What is wrong with my body?! It is fighting so hard to hang on to this stupid weight and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have had the worst cravings this week and I have resisted, but I have been so darn hungry! I think I am doomed to stay this weight the rest of my life...Sorry for the pity party. I am just really frustrated tonight. Goals that I accomplished today..I made it to the gym. That is about it. I ate too much spaghetti for dinner and now I am probably going to gain my 4 lbs. back! AHHH!!!!!!

..The Earth says Hello!

I'm out of ideas for the titles of my daily blogs, so I'm choosing random song lyrics. Today I learned that on a scale from 1 to 10, my daily eating habits are at a 6, which is double what the average person is at...according to my trainer. That is good news. The bad news, this week has been so hard for some reason! I have had so many cravings and I have been so extra hungry! I think my body is trying to mess with me. Well, I am not going to give in! I did have some chips and salsa today for lunch and I just can't do that! My trainer wants me to start the Flat Belly Diet, which I started back in August. It's a really good diet and I wanted to stay on it, but my hubby was doing it with me and it's just too expensive for both of us. It is going to have to wait for a while anyway. Finances are running a little low this month after Christmas. Hopefully I can start up in Feb. with it. Well, as the day is almost over, I won't write my goals for the day. I did a lot, but also relaxed today. I did make it to the gym and I was sweating like crazy! Goodnight my faithful readers! I am off to have a protein shake for "dessert".

Good Morning Star Shine

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood....
I made it to the gym and life is good..well, except for my tired children who have been screaming at me all morning, but other than that, I am doing good. Last night we went to our neighbors house to watch the Fiesta Bowl. I was bombarded with chips and candy! I resisted for the most part, but did indulge a little. It was not worth it at all! I don't know how I used to eat all that junk all the time! I really only had a handful of m'n'm's and I woke up so sick this morning! I love it! It means my body is getting healthier and is helping me remember how not worth it that junk is!
The gym this morning was packed! It's ridiculous how many people started their "New Year's Resolution" this morning. Hopefully by Feb. they give up and it won't be so crowded. Okay, that was kind of mean...Let's just hope that they decide to go at another time. That's better.
Goals for today: -gym (check!) -scriptures -I start teaching dance again today, so get the house clean for that -eat good!

Trying to get back

I am trying to get back into our old routine and it didn't really happen this morning. I was up until 1 last night with a headache, so I slept on the couch and I couldn't hear my alarm from the living room...so, no gym this morning. I still have a lot of pressure in my head, like I am going up in altitude or something. Strange. I need to take some Ibuprofen or something. I am still really happy about my weight lose so I am extra determined to do good today. I have a lot to plan for my dance classes this week and I want to be prepared. I will try to do the Wii today so I can get some exercise. I am not taking a nap today so I will be pooped out by bedtime tonight. I only allow myself one day a week to miss the gym and I really didn't want it to be today.
Goals for today: -Get ready for my classes this week -read my scriptures -eat super good
-do Wii Fit for atlease half an hour.

Weigh In

Okay, so I took a huge risk by weighing in on a Sunday.....and it was worth it! 171!!! Hurray!(Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance) I Finally lost some weight! It has been a long time and it felt good! I had to get on and off the scale a couple of times to make sure I was seeing it right! I was so shocked! 171 still is a huge number, but hopefully it keeps getting smaller! I can't give up! I did So good during the holidays and now I just have to make it through each day. These daily goals must be helping more than I thought!
Today was fast sunday, so my goal today is: -eat a good dinner with lots of protein
-No dessert with game night tonight -make a food list for the week
-fill out my food journal for the past couple of days that I have missed.