Accomplishments

Here are my accomplishments for the day:
-went to the gym and killed myself with my p.t.....holy crap! I thought I was going to die!
-I have eaten really well and kept my food journal
-BIGGEST one*** I refused Oreo cookies and milk!!!! They are such a weakness for me and I said NO!! I feel good. Every little accomplishment will help me make it to my goal.

I know that I have been stuck in a rut lately. I've been doing the exercising but my eating has sucked and that doesn't help me lose anything. My main goal right now is two pounds a week and that means I will lose 8 pounds by the time I see my mother. Keep your fingers crossed!!

Better

Okay, I am feeling better today. It's amazing how bad I feel when I don't workout. It makes such a difference. I wasn't able to exercise while Kyle was gone and today I hit the gym, bought 8 sessions with my p.t., and I am feeling so much happier and motivated. I have to keep it up during Thanksgiving break...thankfully I have a great hubby who supports me....plus I have the motivation of seeing my mother in four weeks and I want to be 10 lbs. lighter! I can do it!

Just ignore this post....I'm venting

I give up!!! I'm tired of the working out and missing out on all that good food that I love, just to stay fat and not lose anything! As you can tell, I'm not having a good day. Did you know that I just ate the first peanut butter and jelly sandwich I've had in probably 10 years? My kids have them almost everyday, but me...NO! AHHHH!!!! It's not just that....I keep thinking..I don't eat out, I'm not sitting around eating chips and dip, and greasy foods and desserts and bon bons (I've never even had one before). I'm eating way better and exercising way more than I was 4 months ago and yet, I have gained 15 lbs. since I started dieting and exercising! It's absolutely ridiculous and now I can't train with my PT because we have had a lot of surprise bills come in at us, so we don't have the money to. I am just so mad that I'm going to see my mom for Christmas and I'm just going to get the lecture all weekend on how I'm way too over-weight and I must be eating wrong and how I'm too fat to be teaching dance and BlAh Blah Blah Blah!!!! I'm just done.

-Those of you who know me, know that I won't give up, I'm just having a bad day. Sorry for the venting.

weigh in day

Okay everyone, here is my weigh in.......174!!! I know it's only a pound, but I was so excited to finally lose something!! It's been over a month since I have lost anything and I felt so good! Hopefully I can keep going down! I have to wait until Dec. to really start with my PT due to finances, but this morning I did some of the exercises I did with him and 30 minutes hard on the tredmill....my arms feel like noodles! I love it! Hopefully I can do good this week. I'm really worried about Thanksgiving. I just have to limit myself and stay away from treats. This is where my husband will come in. He will need to keep a close eye on me and make sure I stay active while we are gone. RRRRRR!!!! I feel so good right now. I'm going to need a nap though!

Day 2

I am feeling so good! I worked out yesterday with my PT with Free Weights. I never knew what to do with them, so I always used the machines. Well, you get a much better workout with free weights and I learned that my left arm is so out of shape! I was doing bicep curls and my right arm was fine, but my left could barely finish the reps! I am learning new exercises everyday and I feel great! I'm not even that sore today, just a little stiff.
Today I had a cardio day and I felt muscles twitching that I have never felt before. You know that back part of your thigh, right under your butt? That was going like crazy! I'm glad, because I need it! I have such a ghetto booty! My mom once told me that I was part black. And while I would love to be black and be called Sha'Niqwa (one of my dark secrets), I don't want a ghetto booty. I started my food journal yesterday and that really helped. Jenna* thanks for the calorie counter website. That has helped me become more aware of how many calories I am eating and burning. Size 8, here I come!!!

PT

Okay, so this morning I had a free one-hour evaluation with a personal trainer....I pretty much learned that I am fat...it's okay though, I already knew it! BUT, I also had a fantastic workout and learned how to do some new exercises. I am probably going to sign up with him to get the kick start that I need. Right now, just typing, I can feel my triceps that I worked this morning AND he's a specialist with stomachs, so while I was doing those triceps, my whole core was shaking like crazy! I love it! I realize how much I'm NOT doing at the gym. He's also going to have my keep a food journal. I really think this is really going to help me. I have 40 lbs. I want to lose and I'm going to do it.
I am starting fresh, with a new routine, new attitude, and even more determination! I have to sit and look at myself in the mirrors at the gym and I hate it! I have also been doing Wii Fit and that is amazing! The next time yall see me, I'm going to be trim and beautiful and buff!!!

Another weigh in day

Well, STILL 175!!!! What do I do?????!!!!!!!

I think I really need to kick it up at the gym. I only got to go twice last week and I can't do that. This is 4 weeks now that I have stayed the same and it's ridiculous!!!! I knew if I mentioned the words Personal Trainer, my husband would want me to do it. It's too much money though. Anyone have any other ideas for me to try? I will do just about anything right now. I have GOT to lose this weight.

I had to buy some new pants....I had to buy a size 12. It's disgusting. I promised myself that I would NEVER buy that size! I'm not going to wear them. I'm going to keep them in the sack and I'm NOT going to wear them!!!!! It makes me angry to think that I've let this happen, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I should do the personal trainer for a bit, just to get some help.

Day 38

Sometimes I really have no clue what to write. I had a good day yesterday. Today I didn't make it to the gym because I took a Benadryl last night and it knocked me out...all for nothing too! I still have a stuffy nose! I mostly want to mention what a patient, loving husband I have. He has really been doing a lot for me lately...probably too much. I feel like a bad wife right now. He's been doing laundry, dishes, making breakfast, dinner, making the bed, bathing kids.....am I even here? I have just been in this slump where I don't want to do anything! I'm going to step up my game and get something done today.

Day 36, i think

I have done great the past two days! I've been so busy, I haven't even thought of food! I love it! Didn't go to the gym this morning because I thought it was still closed....it's open now! I did work on Christmas dances and taught 3 hours of classes today, so I think I'm good! I will hit the gym tomorrow! I better see some results this week!!!

Rock bottom

I haven't written over the weekend because I was super busy with Halloween. I didn't write yesterday because I hit rock bottom....weigh in...STILL 175!!! I've decided that I cannot weigh in on Sundays anymore because I was so upset I ended up having to come home from church to take one of my "happy" pills just to make it through the rest of the day. My poor husband. He puts up with so much from me. After my pill kicked in and we had a long talk, Kyle and I decided that I am going to try the Flat Belly diet again, but more religiously. It's a good diet and I did lose while I was on it.
Enough on the negative....this morning my husband found a picture of me after I had Natali...Holy Cow I was SOOOO skinny! I remember I only weighed 130 and I was buff! I was doing step aerobics every morning and running at night. It's my new motivation. I know that I can do it because I have already done it once! The gym was closed today because they are moving locations, so I came home and did Tae Bo. It felt so good! I'm thinking of hitting the gym 3 days a week and the other days just doing step aerobics or Tae Bo, or my Paula Abdul dance workout that I love! I want to do something fun! We'll see how it works and if it makes a difference in my weigh in! As always, pray for me and wish me luck!! (Maybe say a prayer for Kyle too)