When I logged on to my blog just now, the Quote from Darth was "You should not have come back" It was perfect! It just makes me want to keep coming back just to make him mad!=)
Today was good. I made it to the gym 15 minutes late...problem with the alarm clock, I did 20 minutes of just abs and it killed. I've eaten pretty good today and I'm feeling good and sore. I had more incentive today by being told by my mother that the new shoes I bought last night (so cute I think I might sleep with them tonight!) are too high and they are going to make my butt look even bigger. I'm not quite sure how that works..... Anyway, I'm going to hit the gym on time tomorrow and work even harder! I haven't even wanted to cheat and eat sweets, which is a good sign. Well, this is short today because it is the last beautiful day we are going to have for the next 6 months, so I better get outside with my girls and enjoy it!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Darth Vadar Quotes
To explain why the Darth Vadar Quotes on my blog, First: My husband loves Star Wars, so I did it for him. Second, if you really read them and apply them to my situation, they really are perfect. I will not give in to the dark side any longer! You are Not my father!
Day 1
Hurray! I made it to the gym this morning! Thank you honey for literally pushing me out of bed! I weighed in this morning and I am back down to 177. I'll take it and now my new goal for the week is 174. So far I have eaten really good, but right now is my hardest time. I'm going to finish my drink and then put a piece of gum in and head to the park with the kids so I won't be home! I know I can do this!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
REAL Day 1 starts tomorrow
Okay people...it's time to get real. It's time to face facts....I"M FAT! This weekend has been my final fling and I can tell you that it was NOT worth it. It never is. Why do I continue to do this to myself? In Genesis we are told that Satan will have power to bruise our heels, but we shall have power to Crush His Head! I love it! Satan truly has been working double time on me and I have been giving in. I'm not going to give hime power over me anymore. I truly believe that I have an addiction to eating and that it is a weakness. My only hope is that I know Heavenly Father won't allow me to be tempted with anything I cannot overcome! I love my family and My Heavenly Father....but I also need to love me. I can do this. This weeks goal:
Lose 3 lbs.
Go to the gym everyday for at least an hour
Think good thoughts
NOT ONE SWEET!!!!
I Know I can Do IT!!!
I Am Worth It!!!
Lose 3 lbs.
Go to the gym everyday for at least an hour
Think good thoughts
NOT ONE SWEET!!!!
I Know I can Do IT!!!
I Am Worth It!!!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Day 1
Well, so far, not so good. I really should have waited until Monday to start...I know, it's an awful excuse, but I'm going to have to use it today. I've been so busy with my studio, finishing the basement, and taking care of all my kids, that I haven't gone to the gym in two weeks! I am commiting to making it there everyday next week! My friend Missy joined with me and we are both so disgusted that we haven't been in so long! I had been feeling so good too! I actually had to take an anti-depressent today because yesterday I was "not myself". It's been about 3 weeks since I have had to take one. I know that exercise really helps you feel better about yourself....it's just getting my big fat BUTT out of bed!!! To try to make up for it, I have deep cleaned my entire house today and I took the kids to the park and I went to pick our carpet for our basement. I think we will go for a family bike ride tonight. That way I don't feel like I have completely wasted my day.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Why am I doing this?
I am probably one of thousands who went to the movie theatre and saw the movie "Julie and Julia"....Loved it!!! First of all, I loved Meryll as Juilia Childs. She was fantastic!!! Second, I was totally inspired! At the time of the movie, I had currently been diagnosed with moderate to severe depression, which I blame my weight for. Let me give you a look into my "weighty" history!
High School is when I really started gaining weight. I love to dance and by my junior year, I realized that kids were making fun of me because of my weight. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't a social outcast because of it, but I did have to wear leotards and dance infront of my entire school....approx. 3,000 students! My mom helped me and we joined Weight Watchers and I dropped 20 lbs.! In college, I was determined to keep it off! I taught aerobics and walked everywhere! I can proudly say I didn't gain one pound! I got married at the ripe old age of 18! I know, I was very young. But the love of my life came and everything fell into place. Ofcourse, I gained the "just married" 10 lbs. because my husband could eat anything and not gain an ounce, but quickly got it off by exercising 2 hours a day!
Not long after the wedding, I found out I was expecting! Hurray! I did so good and only gained the recommended 30 lbs. and in the first week after I delivered my first baby girl, I had dropped 20 lbs! The last 10 lbs hung on for dear life! We moved away from my family and I continued to keep that 10 lbs. hanging around. I got invited to join a group of women from the neighborhood to exercise with them in the mornings. My loving husband literally shoved me out of bed every morning, until I became obsessed with it! I did that for a year and had another baby and I am proud to say that I only gained 19 lbs. with my second little girl and afterwords I had lost the 10 lbs. from earlier and another 10! I was smokin hot! I was in the best shape of my life and I loved it! I could play with my kids, I could play with my husband! I felt fantastic!
There is one other thing you should know. I am completely addicted to sugar in any form! Especially cookies! Well, all during that year of exercise I didn't touch a single cookie, ice cream cone, licorice, NOTHING! Alas, one day, we were invited to a friends house and I was asked to bring dessert. I can still tell you what I made! I made chocolate cup cakes, with a cream cheese and chocolate chip filling.....mmmmmmm......ooooooohhhhh!!! I had now turned to the dark side! I very quickly ate my way back up 10 lbs. I was still only 140 (oh, I'm 5'3"), so it wasn't too big of a deal. I had baby girl #3 and lost all of my baby weight.
Then the next move is what did me in. I started working at a pharmacy and the candy counter was right next to me. I'd "forget" to pack a lunch, so I would just "have" to have some candy because "anything was better than nothing" I would tell myself. I also started hanging out with my best friend who lived just down the street and can also eat anything without gaining a lb. and she loves to bake! I was still exercising, but I slowly gained 30 lbs! It was awful! My self-esteem slowly went down the drain.
I am getting to the end of my tale. My parents decided to serve a mission for our church and they got called to Cambodia! My family and I moved into their home while they were gone. I started Weight Watchers on my own and I lost almost 15 lbs. just in-time to find out I was expecting little girl #4. My husbands job was not going well and there was a lot of stress. We ended up moving again and I got really sick. I still only gained the 30 lbs., but now that she is almost 18 months.... I still weigh the same as the day I delivered her!
We lived in a small 3 bedroom apartment with 4 kids, My husband was working a lot PLUS he started building us our first house, then I went to cambodia with my baby to pick my parents up from their mission, etc. etc. etc.
So there I was, sitting on the doctors table, being told that I needed to lose weight and start taking anti-depressants. So, I joined a gym and took my pills. I have made other changes in my life. I built a dance studio in my basement so that I can teach my little girls dance and make a little extra money. That has helped me a lot. I am still 177 lbs. and I am tired of not progressing. So here I am. I am going to weigh in every Monday and write my feelings and you all get to just sit and take it! I am also vowing to not eat one single "treat" for a year and to go to the gym 6 days a week for atleast an hour. Hopefully someone starts reading this so that I will actually be accountable for my actions!
High School is when I really started gaining weight. I love to dance and by my junior year, I realized that kids were making fun of me because of my weight. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't a social outcast because of it, but I did have to wear leotards and dance infront of my entire school....approx. 3,000 students! My mom helped me and we joined Weight Watchers and I dropped 20 lbs.! In college, I was determined to keep it off! I taught aerobics and walked everywhere! I can proudly say I didn't gain one pound! I got married at the ripe old age of 18! I know, I was very young. But the love of my life came and everything fell into place. Ofcourse, I gained the "just married" 10 lbs. because my husband could eat anything and not gain an ounce, but quickly got it off by exercising 2 hours a day!
Not long after the wedding, I found out I was expecting! Hurray! I did so good and only gained the recommended 30 lbs. and in the first week after I delivered my first baby girl, I had dropped 20 lbs! The last 10 lbs hung on for dear life! We moved away from my family and I continued to keep that 10 lbs. hanging around. I got invited to join a group of women from the neighborhood to exercise with them in the mornings. My loving husband literally shoved me out of bed every morning, until I became obsessed with it! I did that for a year and had another baby and I am proud to say that I only gained 19 lbs. with my second little girl and afterwords I had lost the 10 lbs. from earlier and another 10! I was smokin hot! I was in the best shape of my life and I loved it! I could play with my kids, I could play with my husband! I felt fantastic!
There is one other thing you should know. I am completely addicted to sugar in any form! Especially cookies! Well, all during that year of exercise I didn't touch a single cookie, ice cream cone, licorice, NOTHING! Alas, one day, we were invited to a friends house and I was asked to bring dessert. I can still tell you what I made! I made chocolate cup cakes, with a cream cheese and chocolate chip filling.....mmmmmmm......ooooooohhhhh!!! I had now turned to the dark side! I very quickly ate my way back up 10 lbs. I was still only 140 (oh, I'm 5'3"), so it wasn't too big of a deal. I had baby girl #3 and lost all of my baby weight.
Then the next move is what did me in. I started working at a pharmacy and the candy counter was right next to me. I'd "forget" to pack a lunch, so I would just "have" to have some candy because "anything was better than nothing" I would tell myself. I also started hanging out with my best friend who lived just down the street and can also eat anything without gaining a lb. and she loves to bake! I was still exercising, but I slowly gained 30 lbs! It was awful! My self-esteem slowly went down the drain.
I am getting to the end of my tale. My parents decided to serve a mission for our church and they got called to Cambodia! My family and I moved into their home while they were gone. I started Weight Watchers on my own and I lost almost 15 lbs. just in-time to find out I was expecting little girl #4. My husbands job was not going well and there was a lot of stress. We ended up moving again and I got really sick. I still only gained the 30 lbs., but now that she is almost 18 months.... I still weigh the same as the day I delivered her!
We lived in a small 3 bedroom apartment with 4 kids, My husband was working a lot PLUS he started building us our first house, then I went to cambodia with my baby to pick my parents up from their mission, etc. etc. etc.
So there I was, sitting on the doctors table, being told that I needed to lose weight and start taking anti-depressants. So, I joined a gym and took my pills. I have made other changes in my life. I built a dance studio in my basement so that I can teach my little girls dance and make a little extra money. That has helped me a lot. I am still 177 lbs. and I am tired of not progressing. So here I am. I am going to weigh in every Monday and write my feelings and you all get to just sit and take it! I am also vowing to not eat one single "treat" for a year and to go to the gym 6 days a week for atleast an hour. Hopefully someone starts reading this so that I will actually be accountable for my actions!
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