Rollercoaster...

..of love. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster. Somedays I am so pumped to kick butt and get in shape and then I have days like this where I could care less (not totally true) but I feel a little lazy. I didn't get to the gym because I was lazy. 3 of our kids got up at 3 and 4 this morning and at 4 I really had the urge to just get up and go to the gym, but I was just too lazy to do it. Isn't that sad? Now I am filled with regret because by the time 5 came, I was already back to sleep. I should have gone! It's like I completely sabatoge any efforts or accomplishments I have made. What is wrong with me? I am supposed to go out to dinner tonight, but all I want to do is stay home and walk on my tredmill....I don't think my husband is going to let me do that.
Goal for the day: No more eating. I've done okay, but I know that I will make bad choices if I let myself eat again. Water for dinner and maybe an apple.

No Carbs, No carbs, no Carbs

I haven't been writing in my food journal for a couple of weeks, so I think I need to start doing that again and I am cutting down my carbs. I know I should still have some, but the past couple of days I have let myself go and I haven't been eating as good as I should. I am going to be putting forth more effort to eat better and exercise more. I have noticed that I can go days without having any fruit other than my 3 strawberries in my protein shake. I've been having a bigger and later lunch, so I actually haven't had dinner this week. I just wasn't hungry. Last night I had an apple before going to bed. I really want to do the Flat Belly diet, but we need to wait until after this payday. I was looking at the recipes and I forgot how many vegetables and different fruits you get to eat.
Goals for today: -keep my food journal -find my food journal - gym(check) -30 min. on the tredmill -teach dance

It's the end of the world as we know it...

..And I'm just fine. That's right. Test results in and I am 100% just fine. No insulin resistance to be found and now I am just plain out of ideas! I am happy in a small way. I would hate to find out I am on the verge of Diabetes, but it would have answered a lot of questions. So now what? I guess I just keep plugging along. I was thinking how nice it would be to work with my trainer 5 days a week, or even 2. I'm down to one and it's just not enough....I need to get some more students and maybe in Feb. I will be able to go back to 2 days. Anyone with a gun who is willing to shoot me, I'll send you my address.

Tuesday

I know today is not tuesday..That is when I should get my results from my blood test I did on Friday. It was SO not fun, but I'm glad I did it. I've been thinking about how I will feel if it comes back negative. I will probably cry because I am just at my wits end with this weight loss mess and I guess I will get over it and move on. I will probably not write until I get the results and I am definitely not getting on the scale because I know for a fact that I haven't lost anything. I'll be back in a couple of days.

Just so you know...

I didn't get tested yesterday because they didn't tell me it takes 3 hours and I didn't have the time...I am leaving in 15 minutes to get tested today. I will write more later and let you all know!

This could be, one of those memories..

On Monday I was having a bad day and I had Kyle give me a blessing. I was told that I if I would keep putting forth the effort, I would be blessed. Well, I have been thinking about getting tested for Insulin Resistance, but I didn't want to go back to the doctor that treated me for my depression. He really was a jerk and even answered his cell phone in the middle of my appointment! I was coming home from the gym this morning and I heard an ad on the radio for a local Urgent Care that is doing Insulin Resistance testing! It was like an answer to my prayers. I just want to find out what is going on with my body so I can get better. I am going to go and get tested today, so I will report back when I know more.
*Side note, the gym was amazing this morning! I was sweating like a pig and now I need to take a shower! I love days like this!
Goals for the day: -go get tested -laundry -practice my Wii tennis, Kyle keeps kicking my trash! -scriptures(check!) -gym(check)! :I have to put things on my list that I have already done so that I can feel like I have accomplished something!

lookin for love in all the wrong places..

..lookin for love in too many faces.. That's the song that is stuck in my head this morning for some reason. Last night we had a Family Home Evening on eating good foods. I cooked some chicken, pasta, green beans and corn. Then I cut up apples, oranges, bananas, cucumber and carrots and placed all of them on the table. I also got out our butter, margarine, olive oil and spray "I can't believe it's not butter" and we talked about good fats vs. bad fats and how our body does need fat, but not a lot of it. We talked about our car and how it needs the right kind of fuel for it to work right and how if we put the wrong fuel in it, the engine would break and our van wouldn't be able to work. I then turned the van into our bodies and when we give our bodies the right "fuel" we can run and play and our skin and hair are healthier and our bodies will be able to work good. BUT, if we put the bad kind of fuel in our bodies, they might seem like they are working okay for a little bit, but pretty soon our "parts" will shut down and stop working so we couldn't run and play or our "engine"(our heart) could stop and then we would die. Then we let the kids eat all of the good foods on the table and we had them tell one thing that they loved about their bodies. I even did it too! I love my hair and my freckles...I know, I need to work on loving my own body more. I am just proud that I accomplished every single goal I set for yesterday!
Goals for today: _read scriptures -finish folding laundry and put it away -clean up the studio -teach dance today -cook my turkey for dinner -gym(check!)